if you'll be the answer...
It's summer again. I've graduated high school having denied every party offer by a classmate, without doing any form of drug and have yet to tasted alchohol. My friend CJ asked me at prom when he would be able to share a drink with me, and I told him the only time I'm going to drink is on my nineteenth birthday. He made a bit of a fuss, and I feel I've somehow lost his respect because of that. I feel the same way with my brother. I had a party for both prom and grad, which were both insanely fun.
But my brother dropped in during both, and during prom party hung out and had a few drinks with my only two friends that actually had a drink, considering Alyssa isn't a friend. She just crashed the party. None of my other friends wanted to drink 'cause they had work in the morning or just weren't up to it, and he kept pestering them. He even made a big fuss about how I wasn't there at the moment and that there wasn't anything to hold them back and how we were graduates and that it's practically manditory to drink. It's happened a few other times, where I go downstairs for a snack or to watch TV and he has friends over and they're drinking and he just looks at me. It's like I'm not worthy of their pressence if I don't drink. I didn't mind when he was a senior and he went to drink sometimes. He had a lot going for him then, and I talked about his accomplishments with my friends every chance I had. He was ambitious, had leadership skills, and had an air of confidence about him that now seems more arrogant. His band tanked, the new band is on thin ice, he dropped out of Sherridan for a year and failed first year due to partying, is working a job at "bounce and puke" for less than part time hours, and is more rude than ever.
Here I am, having gotten through my senior year with the best grades I've ever had with full and heavily weighted classes for both semesters, an important member of the choirs, made wonderful friends and finally had contact severed in the nicest way with those whom I did not have the qualifications to deal with their monstrous emotions, accepted into my top two University choices, and was even nominated for most original style. I even did well on all my exams, after taking them while feeling like crap from the flu.
And he wouldn't even come out to dinner with me after my grad ceremony.
Instead he went across the street to hang out with friends, then went to go jam. I was furious after this. All I ever did was stick up for him when my parents complained about his friends and the way he acts, I made him and his friends food, cleaned up after them, and he wouldn't even come to dinner with me. But then... a couple days after the ceremony, I found a card meant for me on my moms desk from him. It was a simple snoopy one picked up from Shoppers, but right after I was perfectly happy again.
Why? Why is this? I don't understand why I could just let it go like that. I tried so damn hard, and all he had to do was buy a two dollar card that Rob probably picked out and sign it. And he still looks down on me. He's up at Wasaga beach right now, playing a few shows.
My friends are up there now too actually. Tucci, Nick, Tyler, Jordan, and few more I'm sure. I've started to hang out with them recently, and I've been talking to Tucci a lot more. I've always had two courses with him every semester for around 3 years of high school, but I've only really gotten to know him in the past year. We did our culminating together with Becca, I made the settings, characters, and plot while he animated everything and Becca took all the pictures. It's called Roybot, and it's even on his youtube channel. It's like, "Twilightcouple" I think. I've made plans with the guys to go ghost hunting when they get back.
Ahhh, I wish I'd do more with my life. I've spent the last few days doing absolutely nothing. To keep my parents off my back [my dad is insisting I have a certain amount of exersize every day] I say I've been up late writing. Which is partially true. I stay up late online, reading in bed, and then jot down some story ideas before sleeping until 2:30 in the afternoon the next day. The biggest worry I've had since the 2nd [when I had to register for university courses] is wondering what I'm going to wear to Warped tour. Which I still haven't decided on. Maybe I should buy something new?
Perhaps I should make a list of things to do this summer. At least be a little more productive, and maybe it'll help motivate me to write that story idea that's been bumming around my head and notebook for the past two weeks.
xxx
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