Summer was both tame and wild. It had the amazing days that blurred together in a wondrous sleep, and the days that were so full of crazy it was hard to walk straight. Such as Warped Tour where I met Breathe Carolina again, some fun hangouts with friends, and this rush wedding thing where I was the photographer.
I've developed emotions that I've written about, but haven't felt for years. However, I can't determine them. It's confusing. I like this guy, and I've been out with him a few times but can't exactly label it as a date, or just friends hanging out. I've even gotten an honesty box message saying he likes me too, but then yesterday for a brief few minutes his msn name stated he still loved his ex, even though they've been apart for months and she's dating someone else. Then there's Kevin... He's such a sweetheart, and he's finally decided that he's going to pursue college and quit smoking and all these different things that are amazing. I know he likes me, how can I not after MacDonald always screaming at me to go out with him. Literally. But I still can't think of him that way. With the other boy (whom I'm not going to name because I'm afraid of hating myself later for putting it out there) when I'm next to him I'm screaming inside my head wanting him to hold my hand. Just that would make me ecstatic. And then I start to think about what it would be like kissing him, and I feel awkward. It's not like where I see a really cute guy in a magazine, or passing by them on the street, seeing someone in a movie (like the teen from Gamer, oh goodness he's pretty!) or on TV and I think "OMGosh I would explode with hormones if he so much as even touched me." See? VERY confused about how I really feel. I don't get it.
I saw a fortune teller (finally) with Nikki and Kenny to get our tarot read. She said stuff about these two possible relationships that were opening up to me, but told me that I should just go with the flow and focus on my schooling. Apparently I'm going to be very successful throughout the next 5 years, which is throughout my university career. I know they're only prying at my weak points here to give me hope, but goodness I really do hope it's true.
On a happy note, the new TAI song is AMAZING. It's very different then their typical sound, and brings out the diversity you can feel on their second album Santi. I love it.
I am procrastinating sooooo much right now. I'm supposed to have read this giant book (The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Rushdie) and analyze it for tomorrow and I'm not even close to being done. Sadz.
xxx
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